She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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