I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Randomize
