Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
