I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
17 year olds will be the death of me.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
