What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Randomize
