i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
