I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
