I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I'm at about main and main street
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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