What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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