whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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