So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
