I'm going to jail i love you
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It's blow job season.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
