Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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