This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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