you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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