She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
