I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize
