oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
