I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Welp...herpes.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Randomize
