Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Pappa wants mamma naked
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
