are you so shy because you have an std?
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
