my soul wont recognize me after tonight
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
