she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
On a scale of 1 to hungover I’m definitely throwing up at the office today.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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