I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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