Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
