Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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