We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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