Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
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