Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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