so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Randomize
