I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
In preparation for st patty's day I finally had a shamrock shake, and I invested in an app that will apparently keep me from drunkenly texting you pictures of my tits this weekend. Please let me know if you want to not be put on the "forbidden" list!
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Randomize
