I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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