She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
We should make a goal to do one active thing a day, even if its like throwing a ball
And by ball i mean playing catch. Beer pong does not count as an activity
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Randomize
