Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
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