So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize
