Whod you bang
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
We had an argument over whether or not she had super strength. She settled it by dragging me to the bed room and throwing me on the bed. Then forcefully fucking me. She won the argument.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
