I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
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