I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
Randomize
