i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
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