Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
