You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
