so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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