shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Randomize
