I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize
