You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
