I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
