Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Omg. I can't go on a date with this man. His kids are too ugly.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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