Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
My sheets look like a crime scene.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
