She punched me in the face after i pulled it out and grabbed my cell phone. Ill be the one hiding in the bushes with one shoe.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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