Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Randomize
