Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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